This semester, I took a class about physical, cognitive, and psychosocial growth from birth through the teen years. In addition to our textbook, we were required to read The Five Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman.
I loved the book, and I read it within only a few days (even though we were supposed to read it throughout the whole semester). As I read, I started thinking of ways that people have shown me love throughout my life. I also pondered how I show my love for them. Parents, extended family, significant others, children, and friends all need to feel our love. The problem is that the words “I love you” sometimes seem inappropriate or inadequate. Thankfully, there are hundreds of other ways to tell somebody that you love them.
Acts of Service
1. Make supper
2. Clean their room
3. Help with homework
4. Listen
5. Bake their favorite cookies
6. Do the dishes
7. Repair a broken object
8. Organize their dresser
9. Wash their car
10. Carry their shopping bags
11. Hold their coat
12. Wait while they are in the dressing room…no matter how long it takes
13. Turn up the radio when their favorite song is playing
14. Throw a party for them
15. Let them choose the movie
16. Practice their favorite sport with them
17. Offer your services free of charge
18. Bring in the newspaper
19. Do their yard work
20. Pack their bags for the day
Quality Time
1. Go for a walk
2. Take pictures together
3. Watch a movie
5. Play a game
6. Go fishing
7. Ride bikes
8. Visit a museum
9. Read to them
10. Bake a cake with them
11. Be silly!
12. Go window shopping
13. Complete a puzzle together
14. Maintain eye contact
15. Do a craft
16. Let a small child help with house work
17. Take them on a classic date–dinner and a movie
18. Plant a garden together
19. Attend a sporting event
20. Visit the zoo
Gifts
1. Buy them new school supplies
2. Take them to their favorite restaurant
3. Let them choose a treat at the store
4. Surprise them with flowers
5. Make a collage of their favorite color
6. Create a scrapbook
7. Bring them coffee
9. Reward your child with stickers for positive behavior
10. Specifically ask them if there is a gift that they want, and then buy it for them
11. Finger-crochet a scarf
12. Make a birthday celebration last all week by giving a small present each day
13. Offer your last stick of gum
14. Hand down heirlooms
15. Send them your class notes
16. Leave a box of candy at their desk
17. Hide lots of little gifts at Christmas and provide clues to the presents’ locations
18. Order a subscription to their favorite magazine
19. Donate to a charity they support
20. Clip coupons that you know they can use
Words of Affirmation
1. “Great Work!”
2. Write an encouraging note
3. Compliment their outfit
4. Tell them that they are beautiful
5. Give them a nickname
6. “I am proud of you.”
7. Send a “good morning” text
8. “I understand why you are angry.”
9. Tell others your favorite things about the person you love
10. Display their artwork
11. “It makes me happy when you…”
12. Pray with them
13. Comfort them when they are sad
14. Write a verse or encouraging quote on their mirror
15. “You are special to me because…”
16. Cheer for them as they play a game or run a race
17. Congratulate their accomplishments
18. Write a poem about them
19. Respond calmly when they make a mistake
20. Keep a year-long list of something positive that they did each day
Physical Touch
1. Rub their back
2. Brush their hair
3. Give them a manicure
4. Wrestle with them
5. Rock them to sleep
6. Give a hug
7. Play “Patty-cake”
8. Hold their hand
9. Hold them in your lap
10. Take a selfie with them
11. Push them on the swing
12. Cuddle
13. Have a “tickle fight”
14. Kiss
15. Put your arm around them
16. Give them a pat on the back
17. Carry them
18. Massage their sore muscles
19. Play “footsies”
20. Let them wear your jacket
