Smooth as…Oatmeal

Smooth as…Oatmeal

smoothaseggWarning: you are about to re-enter your middle school English class.

The English language makes some interesting similes, don’t you think?  We say that a plate is “as clean as a whistle.”  Or I claim that my professor’s instructions were “as clear as mud.”  Really, whistles are covered in spit, and mud is brown.  Yet, we understand what somebody means when they say either of these lines.  While these two examples show irony, some similes are straightforward. Take the word “smooth” for instance.


Smooth as…glass.

Smooth as…butter on a bald monkey.

Smooth as…a baby’s bottom.

I made oatmeal today that could only be described as “smooth.”  Adding an egg white while cooking gave the oatmeal a butter-like flavor.  This could easily become a new favorite recipe for me, but I will choose an idiom that seems a little more edible than the ones listed above.

Smooth as…an egg.

Smooth as…Oatmeal


  • 1 and 1/3 cups of water
  • 2/3 cup of oatmeal
  • 1 egg white
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon + more for topping


  • Whip the egg white until it is throffy
  • Bring water to a boil and reduce to medium heat
  • Stir in oatmeal and cook 3-5 minutes
  • While stirring, pour egg white into oatmeal
  • Add vanilla and cinnamon.  Continue to cook an additional 3-5 minutes until you are pleased with the consistency
  • Transfer to bowl, eat, and enjoy

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