I am terrified. I stand on shaky knees with both feet facing the great unknown, and I shiver with fear. Through one eye I envision great adventure, but through the other eye I perceive imminent failure. You see, God called me to do something that is “way beyond me,” and I, quite frankly, am scared. I do not have the knowledge, strength, or courage to complete the assignment. If I take another step, I might fall.
So I am considering NOT taking that step.
Although I know that nothing is impossible for God, my human mind continually rationalizes that I am not God. He can’t make a mistake, but I can. He can’t stumble, but I can. He can’t fail, but I can. And if I attempt this, I might fail.
So I am considering NOT attempting.
The possibilities of falling and failing seem like adequate reasons to retreat. I am under-qualified, under-prepared, and under-equipped for this call. I would have to be an idiot to answer it.
So label me an ignoramus because I am about to take the next step.
You see, nothing is possible for me. I will make mistakes. I will stumble. I will fail.
But I will still attempt.
Why? Because I believe that this task was not self-assigned; it was God-assigned. As such, I have His help to complete it. Although I am under-qualified on my own, my qualifications are found in God (Exodus 6:29-30; 7:1-2). Although I find myself under-prepared, God prepared this work for me (Ephesians 2:10). Although I am under-equipped, God supplies my needs (Phil. 4:19).
Do I still feel wary of what I am about to do? Yes, of course. But I am relying on the promise found in Philippians 2:13, “For it is not your strength, but it is God who is effectively at work in you, both to will and to work [that is, strengthening, energizing, and creating in you the longing and the ability to fulfill your purpose] for His good pleasure.”
I ask that you have the same prayer for me as the Author of Hebrews had for his readers: “…that the God of peace will give you every good thing you need so you can do what he wants” (Heb. 13:21).
Now I’m off on my great adventure!
P.S. – My “great adventure” is a multimedia workshop similar to the one discussed on this blog.
Praying for you, Sweetheart! Love you! ~ Aunt Lori
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Thanks for the prayers! They are much appreciated!
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Hi! I don’t know you or what you’re about to do but I do know we serve the same God. I am also in the midst of having to decide between taking a difficult step or not. I am constantly reminded that “obedience is our job, results are his” 🙂 regardless of what happens, though, when we act in faith and trust… It deepens our relationship with him. That alone.. is worth the choice to do it. 🙂
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Thanks for commenting! I actually took the step (I just got back from Africa), and I am so glad I did. I learned a lot about God and His people. I pray that hHe will give you wisdom as you make your decision!
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